Let Go Brother
by pezjunkie13
Summary: Peter doesn't know if he can forgive. Edmund doesn't know if he can forget. Will they be able to work through it before it's too late? Peter & Edmund sibling fic.
1. your prince's crown

**Let Go Brother**

_Your prince's crown Cracks and falls down. Your castle hollow and cold. You've wandered so far, From the person you are. Let go brother, let go. Cos now we all know..._ - _**Frog Prince**_

"After him, he'll lead you to Edmund. Peter, clean your sword." Aslan said.

Peter watched on as Oreius, among others, ran after the wolf that had attacked his sisters. He knew he should be paying attention to the Great Lion, but something more important was on his mind.

"_Edmund…" _Peter longed to see his brother again, but he was still unsure if it was to hug him or to slap him.

Peter turned his attention toward Aslan and finally cleaned his sword. As he knelt down he felt Aslan's paw on his shoulder. He was unsure of exactly what Aslan had said, but he had caught the end.

"…Wolf's-Bane, Knight of Narnia." Aslan said with great pride in his voice.

But as Peter stood and sheathed his sword, knowing he should be happy with the honour being bestowed upon him, all he could think of was _Edmund_.

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

All Edmund could do was sit and wait. He was bound, tightly, to a tree. His wrists were tied together, the rope digging into his skin, rubbing it raw. The rope had long since turned pink, from the blood ever so slowly seeping into it. There was much more extensive damage along the rest of his body that was hidden from sight due to his now tattered and dirty clothing. Bruises and scrapes peeked out from under his shorts and above his socks, giving hints to the damage inflicted on his previously pale and perfect skin.

The worst pain though came from the wounds developing on his face. The gag for his mouth pulled so tightly that the corners of his mouth split, turning the gag to a lovely shade of pink to match the rope that bound his wrists. His bottom lip was also split, one of the many injuries caused by Ginarrbrik _personally_. Edmund had tripped while being pushed along, after the Witch's sledge had been rendered useless because of the lack of snow. As punishment Ginarrbrik felt the need to demonstrate that just because he was smaller than Edmund didn't mean he could not deal out pain. There was also a sizable bruise developing on his left cheek. The memory of _why_ he received the slap from the White Witch was much more painful than the black and blue mark forming along his face.

"_Thank you Edmund. It's good that this creature got to see some honesty… before he died!"_

Edmund cringed at the Witches words. _Thank you Edmund. _Edmund had done her a favour; he wasn't helping the fox at all. Why couldn't he just keep his big mouth shut for once? He supposed it was a bit ironic given the fact that his mouth was now gagged. He would have laughed in spite of himself had it not been so upsetting, and that it would have inflicted more pain upon himself to do so.

"_You deserve this you know. You've put your entire family in jeopardy for sweets. You deserve this… no. You deserve __**worse**__."_

The worst was coming, and Edmund knew it. It was only a matter of time before Jadis would come to the conclusion that Edmund was no longer useful. For the meantime she was busy with battle preparations, but soon enough the end would come. Jadis knew of Aslan, the army he was forming, and where they were located, all because of Edmund. Jadis no longer needed information from him; he had served his purpose for the most part. The only thing Edmund had not done was deliver his siblings to her, but soon that would not matter. Soon the Witch would march her army on Aslan's camp and destroy all in her path, including Lucy, Susan and… Peter.

Edmund began to drift into despair, a place where hope was not welcome or desired. Edmund kept no hope for himself, for he hadn't any faith left… in himself or otherwise. He felt fatigue creep into his aching body, and he welcomed the sleep it brought with it. Soon it would be over, soon the hurting would end.


	2. cracks and falls down

**Let Go Brother**

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

Peter sat in his tent alone, looking at the extra hammock across from his. It was empty, it was Edmund's. It had been at least two hours, and no sign of Edmund. What if Oreius had been too late? What if the Witch's forces had made short work of Oreius and Edmund? He feared the hammock would never be used. Peter sighed to himself; he was letting his anxiety get the best of him. If anyone could get through the White Witch's forces it was Oreius, he just had to be patient.

Why was he so eager to see Edmund anyways? Was he so excited to look upon the face of the betrayer? Was that all Edmund was to him now, a faceless being who deserved no real name, but a title of betrayer? Peter knew right away that it was not true, yet he couldn't stop himself from thinking it.

"_I'm supposed to be the older mature one… yet I'm being so petty. Or is it petty to call your brother a betrayer? After all he did…" _

Peter cut himself short. He feared that to think such things would be a sin. Edmund was his brother, his family, he loved him. No matter what Edmund did, he would always be family and he would always love him. Even if Edmund made it hard sometimes.

When Edmund returned, could he simply hug him and forget everything that had passed? Could he simply forget how the wolves destroyed the Beaver's home looking for them? Could he forget that Lucy almost drowned while they were escaping from the wolves on the frozen river? Could he simply forget all the lies Edmund told? He didn't know the answer, but he knew he'd figure it out soon enough.

"_I can't take this anymore, I need to get out."_

Peter grabbed his sword and lifted the fabric away from the opening of his tent. Even walking into the sunlight lifted his spirits, at least a little. Peter was about to walk off toward the river where Susan and Lucy had been playing earlier when he saw Oreius. It took a moment to register what this meant, and he followed Oreius' eye line. That's when he noticed something.

Or rather someone.

"…_Edmund."_

Up on the rocks sat Aslan, and there stood Edmund. His brother was sort of hunched over, with his hands in his pockets. Other than that, Peter could not yet see the damage done to his little brother. Peter just looked on as Aslan spoke to his younger sibling, until he heard a cry.

"Edmund!" Lucy shouted as she ran for him.

Peter's first reaction was to hold her back, and he caught her in his arms. Lucy merely looked up at him, not understanding why he had stopped her. Although Peter feared he was losing faith in Edmund, he did admire Lucy's unwavering faith in the ones she loved. Peter looked back toward Edmund who now noticed he had an audience. Peter looked back at Susan who simply looked past him, focussing on her other brother. When Peter turned he noticed Edmund and Aslan were half way toward them already.

Aslan approached the children with a stern look on his face.

"What's done is done. There is no need to speak to Edmund of what is past." And that was that.

Aslan walked away leaving the children to their awkward reunion. Peter knew instantly that Lucy and Susan would obey the Great Lion, but how could he? How could he just brush off everything that had occurred in the short time they'd been in Narnia? Peter didn't even notice Edmund had spoken until he saw Lucy leap into Edmund's arms. Peter should have been happy right now, watching his sisters rejoice at the sight of Edmund being safe and sound. But he wasn't, he couldn't.

"How are you feeling?" Susan asked casually.

That's when Peter noticed it. The look in Edmund's eyes, the emptiness he saw there. As Peter looked deeper he began to witness the truth of what Edmund had gone through. The bruises, the cuts, the burns, but that was just the beginning. Beneath the surface there was more, so much more. But Edmund did not acknowledge any of it, and Peter could not understand why.

"I'm a little tired." He responded, and that was all.

Peter began to realize he had been too quiet, and was now expected to have some sort of input of comfort.

"Get some sleep." Peter said in an eerie monotone voice.

Edmund's eyes shot up at Peter, as if he didn't notice him until now. His face looked shattered at the voice being addressed to him. A voice one would use when addressing a stranger, or perhaps even an adversary. Edmund's eyes shot back down the ground as he made his way for the nearest tent. Susan and Lucy looked at Peter, expecting something more from him. But for the moment that was all Peter had to give.

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

Peter sat by the river until it grew dark. Peter barely noticed that the sun no longer hung in the sky, for his thoughts were clouded. He wanted to go to his brother, but he didn't know what he was going to say. The only thing Peter did know was that he could not see Edmund until he knew what his opinion was on the matter. Peter wanted to be the noble older brother everyone believed he was, or should be. But everything was so complicated. Peter also knew he could not avoid Edmund forever, they shared a tent together, and Aslan's camp was only so big. He could wait though, and linger here by the river a little while longer.

Little did Peter know Edmund was avoiding him as well. Back in their tent Edmund laid in the hammock that Peter thought might never be used. Edmund was pretending to be asleep in case Peter walked in and wanted to speak with him. Edmund could not bear to face his brother now, not after everything he'd done. _Get some sleep. _Edmund cringed at the memory. He knew at that very instant, that when those words were spoken, Peter had not forgiven him.

"_Why should he? I'm a right awful git who is lucky to have two sisters that by the grace of Aslan have somehow found it in their hearts to forgive me. Peter always did say I was an idiot and I hated him for it. Turns out… he was right." _Edmund thought to himself.

Edmund could not sleep with his unpleasant thoughts plaguing him, not to mention the amount of pain he was in. Edmund did not seek out any medical attention when he arrived at Aslan's camp. He did not believe he deserved it, and he also didn't believe anyone would waste their time on him. He could see his sisters forgiving him maybe, and Aslan as well, but not the rest of Narnia. All those Narnians out there, he betrayed them all, and now they may very well all die because of him.

Edmund's mind was plagued with thoughts no young boy should have. Why hadn't they just left him at the Witch's camp? At least then he would have release. He would be free, free of the pain he held within himself.

"_If only… everyone would be better off without me. There is no hope. Jadis' army is far greater than Aslan's… and her magic. She will surely make short work of us here. I suppose it doesn't matter then that I was brought here. Instead of meeting my fate by her hands at her camp, I shall meet my end by her hands here." _Edmund thought.

Edmund tensed as he felt the air shift in the small tent. He kept his eyes shut, keeping to his act of feigned sleep. Then he realized it wasn't Peter, he had shared a room with Peter back home long enough to recognize his presence. Edmund opened his eyes and couldn't help but smile at the sight of his older sister. Susan was placing things down on the table near his hammock, but he could not see what it was.

Susan turned back around and she gasped in shock, "Edmund, you startled me. I thought you were sleeping."

Edmund didn't bother replying, he was just happy it was Susan and not Peter. Ever so slowly Edmund attempted to sit up. As he moved his arms to support himself while he sat up they ached under the pressure, and his wrists burned from where the rope had been. Edmund winced, but slowly he manoeuvred to a sitting up position and was trying to move his legs over the side of the hammock. Just as he was getting his second leg over the edge, the hammock became unsteady and Edmund flew forward.

Edmund closed his eyes and braced himself for the contact with the ground, but it never came. Suddenly Edmund felt warm, safe even. He felt the release he had been longing for, because suddenly everything he had done just didn't matter right now.

"Edmund..."

Edmund opened his eyes and looked up to see Susan staring down at him. Susan was supporting herself with the table behind her, and was holding Edmund. Edmund noticed something distinctly different in Susan's eyes than what he had seen in Peter's. Susan looked upon him with tenderness, while Peter just looked down on him. Edmund slowly moved away from his sister, reluctant to abandon the comfort he had just felt. Edmund had not felt that way since as long as he could remember.

Edmund finally noticed Susan had put bandages and a basin of hot water on one of the tables. She was here to help him, to ease his physical wounds, and perhaps his mental ones. Edmund was lucky to have her for a sister.

"Ed, take off your socks and shirt, we'll clean you up." And that was all that was said, all that needed to be said.

As Susan placed a wash cloth into the hot water, Edmund removed his socks and shirt and sat down on a chair parallel to his sister. Susan started by carefully washing her brother's face, removing all the caked on dirt and blood. Edmund hissed when the hot water would sting the cuts on his face, and Susan smiled gently in apology. After that she attended to the rest of Edmund's wounds, from the rope burns on her brother's wrists, down to his scraped knees.

Edmund desperately wanted to ask Susan about Peter, but could not get the courage to speak. As much as Edmund dreaded the idea of coming face to face with Peter, what he dreaded more was not knowing. Not knowing what his brother thought of him, or if he thought of him at all.

Edmund noticed Susan was done and had placed the dirtied wash cloth back into the now lukewarm water. Susan stared at her younger brother, trying to come up with some words of comfort. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. She tried with all her heart to speak, but could not find the right words. She wanted to let him know everything would be alright.

Edmund grabbed Susan's hands in an attempt to reassure her, but of what he didn't know. The look on Susan's face made him instantly regret ever wanting harm to come to her, or his other siblings.

"_But a King needs servants..."_

It was now his turn to comfort Susan.

"Su– " Edmund began, but he was cut short by his sister's finger over his lips.

"Edmund, remember what Aslan said. There is no need to speak of what has past." Susan spoke softly.

Edmund managed a grin for his sister, and she removed her finger from his lips. Before Edmund could say anything he was interrupted again, but not by Susan. Peter stood at the entrance of the tent, and was staring at Susan. She stood quickly suddenly feeling awkward, as if she shouldn't be there.

"Peter I just need to finish cleaning Edmund up... I'll be out in a short while." Susan explained.

Edmund expected Peter to turn and walk back out, without as much as a word. Or rather this is what Edmund hoped Peter would do. He feared he did not yet have the courage for the inevitable confrontation, so putting it off would in turn put him at ease. Unfortunately Edmund would not be so lucky.

"I'll do it." said Peter casually.

Susan looked up at her older brother, the shock plainly etched across her face. She was unsure if she wanted to leave the two of them alone right now, but knew this needed to happen. They needed to talk. Susan looked back at Edmund, trying her best to put on a reassuring smile for him. She reached across the table and picked up a jar of ointment and placed it in Peter's hands.

"His wounds are clean now... this will help the healing process move along," Susan said. As she walked past Peter to leave the tent, she stopped suddenly and whispered, "Be gentle."

When Susan left the awkwardness set in, the tension steadily rising. Edmund looked up at Peter waiting for whatever it was that was going to be spat out at him, he was ready to take it, and he knew he deserved it. But as he braced himself for the impact of Peter's harsh words, they never came. Peter sat down across from him and opened the jar. Peter started with the cuts on Edmund's face, and was surprisingly gentle with him, just as Susan had requested,

So far all Peter could do was to help with Edmund's physical suffering; Edmund's inner anguish would take much more. Edmund closed his eyes as Peter gently smoothed the ointment onto his other cuts, burns, and various other wounds, and then carefully bound them with bandages and gauze.

Once Peter was done Edmund was still in a fair amount of pain, but he did feel significantly better. Although he was unsure if it was because he was finally clean and his wounds were now attended too, or that Peter was simply helping him. Edmund finally opened his eyes and noticed Peter was simply sitting there, staring at Edmund's wrists, which were the last wounds he attended to. Edmund shifted in his seat, growing more and more uneasy by the minute. Having Peter ignore him was better than this awkwardness.

"Pete-" Edmund began, when his brother cut him off.

"I… Ed…I can't do this." Peter stuttered as he stood, taking a pillow and blanket, and walked out of the tent.

Edmund quickly stood and followed Peter out of the tent, and watched as his brother walked away into the darkness of night. Edmund's face grew stern and cold as he kept his focus on where he had last seen Peter before he disappeared into the shadows. Edmund's eyes had lost their light once more, for he now remembered there was not much point in hoping. Edmund's faith was hanging from a thin thread that Peter now held in his hands. Edmund instantly knew he would never gain back that which he knew he did not deserve. His brother's trust.


	3. your castle hollow and cold

**Let Go Brother**

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

Peter sat down alongside his sisters back at camp, who were already eating breakfast. He had finally decided to join them after spending the night down by the river. As Peter chewed on his toast Susan and Lucy stared at him, waiting for him to ask the question they both knew he wanted to ask: Where was Edmund? But Peter preferred to eat his breakfast in peace, and avoid the subject. Susan and Lucy decided to go on with their conversation about what might be going on with the war back home. Peter had about ten minutes of peace before Edmund finally appeared and sat down with them. It suddenly became quiet again, except for the sound of Peter crunching on his toast. After about another ten minutes Peter finally noticed Edmund now had a sword.

"_No…"_Peter protested in his head.

"You three pack up your things, you're going home." Peter said.

All three siblings looked up at their older brother in shock, not only because of the break in the awkward silence, but by what was said to break it.

"We're going home?" Susan finally said.

"I promised mom I'd keep you three safe. But that doesn't mean that I can't stay behind and help." Peter replied.

"But they need us, all four of us." Lucy protested.

"Lucy it's too dangerous. You almost drowned. Edmund was almost killed." Peter said.

"Don't you dare." Edmund said using the same monotone voice Peter had directed at him previously.

Peter looked over at Edmund and was almost scared by what he saw. Edmund's eyes were filled with anger and hate. Not the anger Peter was used to back home, when Edmund would be upset with him over silly trivial things like who got the bigger piece of cake. This was completely different, more severe and real, and it scarred him.

"What?" Peter finally managed to get out.

"Don't you dare use me as an excuse Peter Pevensie! Don't you dare pretend to care that I almost died just to send Lucy and Susan home where they'll be safe. I don't deserve to be forgiven and I know that, but don't risk Narnia's future on my account. All four of us are needed here and you know that." Edmund continued, as he glared at his older brother.

"Ed…" Peter began.

"No! You know it's true. All of this is my fault, because I willingly helped the White Witch. I don't care what you think of me by this point, or what anyone else thinks of€ me by this point, because I am not going to let that stop me from fighting! I will not leave these people behind to suffer for my mistakes!" Edmund said with great resolve.

Peter just stared at Edmund in disbelief. Edmund had yelled at him plenty of times before of course, but never about anything so serious and that he felt so passionately about. Lucy reached over to Edmund and held his hand. Edmund flinched at the sudden contact but when he looked and realized it was Lucy his icy glare grew soft. He knew Lucy had forgiven him, for which he was eternally grateful. He gave Lucy's hand a quick squeeze to show his appreciation before he stood up and walked away. Lucy watched as Edmund walked over to Oreius presumably to begin his training. Shortly thereafter Lucy and Susan stood up and headed off as well.

"Hey, where are you two going? Peter called after them.

"It's settled then Peter, three to one. We're staying here, and if I were you I'd follow our example and begin training. Susan replied over her shoulder, and she and Lucy continued walking. Peter couldn't help but smile in spite of himself.


	4. you've wandered so far

**Let Go Brother**

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Then you'll remember well that every traitor belongs to me. His blood is my property!" The White Witch proclaimed. Edmund averted his eyes; he could no longer bear to look upon her, the White Witch. He felt his body grow stiff and cold in her presence, and his mouth went dry.

"_Just make it go away, please!"_ Edmund cried out to himself.

"Try and take him then!"

Edmund's eyes shot back up, but not to the White Witch. His eyes lingered on Peter whose sword was drawn on Jadis, _"Is he bloody well mad?"_Edmund was too stunned to move or speak; he only looked on as his brother stood brave and defiant against the White Witch. She smirked at Peter's efforts to protect what was rightfully hers.

"Do you really think that mere force will deny me my right little king?" Jadis spoke mockingly.

Peter kept his gaze steady until he finally faltered under the pressure. Not by the intimidation of Jadis, but by Edmund pushing on Peter's arms, attempting to get him to lower his sword. Peter looked down at his brother, Edmund's face expressed true fear that he had never seen before. As Peter looked into Edmund's eyes he began to understand just how frightened he was of the White Witch and what she could do. Peter wasn't able to fully understand what the White Witch was capable of, but Edmund would never be able to forget. The fear in Edmund's eyes made Peter sheath his sword, and Jadis carried on.

"Aslan knows that unless I have blood as the law demands, all of Narnia will be overturned! And perish in fire and water! That boy!" Jadis proclaimed turning and pointing directly at Edmund, "Will die on the Stone Table, as is tradition. You dare not refuse me!"

"I will speak with you in private." Aslan said slowly as he turned and walked into his tent

The White Witch followed Aslan inside, and a disturbing quiet fell over the entire encampment. The four Pevensies all sat together on the grass, not speaking a word to each other. Susan held Lucy in her arms in an attempt to comfort her younger sister, although Susan needed reassurance just as much as Lucy. Peter plucked at the grass and would toss it into the air, letting it carry on the wind, but he never once looked up. Edmund spent the entire time simply staring at Peter. Edmund could no longer read Peter's face; he had become almost a stranger to him now. At one point Peter could be treating him like a complete stranger, or defending him. Edmund knew he should be concentrating on the fact that his life was once again in danger, but his mind kept wandering back to one thing: Peter. He no longer thought about his own death, he had reached a point where death was meaningless to him. He no longer cared what his fate was, for all he truly wanted was freedom. He wanted to be free of all the pain, and since forgiveness seemed so far and unattainable, death seemed like a release. Narnia would be a more joyful place without the stain of Edmund Pevensie upon it. So as his siblings sat trying to comprehend the idea that their brother might very well be killed, Edmund had not only come to terms with it, but welcomed it. Now that he had accepted his fate, he was free to focus on his brother. Despite accepting death, the one thing Edmund knew he could not bear was dying without the forgiveness of Peter, his only sibling who had yet to forgive him.

Edmund suddenly felt cold as a chill ran down his spine, and instantly he knew of the White Witch's presence. He looked away from Peter toward Aslan's tent where Jadis had in fact emerged. She looked at Edmund with a triumphantly smug grin forming on her face, and he knew what was coming, she had won. Edmund stood ready to meet his fate, and his siblings were quick to rise as well. But the White Witch turned away from him, and Aslan finally emerged. Edmund looked to the Great Lion for his answer.

"She has renounced her claim on the Son of Adam's blood." Aslan said simply.

Aslan's camp began cheering but Edmund was deafened to it all. Lucy hugged him tightly, relieved that her brother would be safe, and Susan put her hand on his shoulder as a sign of comfort that everything would now be alright, but Edmund did not take notice. All he could think of was that his suffering must continue. His eyes began to tear up, which most assumed were of gratitude and joy. But that could not be further from the truth, and Peter was beginning to catch on.

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

Peter stared long and hard at the battle field before him. The Fords of Beruna would soon become a battlefield, much like back at home. He had an entire army ready to defend him and die for him and his family, yet he felt an overwhelming sense of dread. At first he had believed it was because of the Witch's army, which he knew greatly outnumbered his own. But as he thought more and more about it, it was more about his brother's attitude toward the battle to come. Shortly after the discovery that Aslan was gone he and Edmund had gotten into another fight.

"_I want to fight with you Peter." It was not a question, it was a demand._

"_Out of the question, you will be no where near the frontlines Ed. You're to be up on the cliff face with the archers." Peter replied._

"_Peter I need to fight with you." Edmund demanded once again._

"_I'm sorry Ed but I cannot let you. You almost died once because of the White Witch, if I can prevent that from happening again I will. You will be safer this way, it's what Aslan wanted." Peter spoke softly._

_Peter knew instantly at mentioning the Great Lion's name, Edmund would listen. It was petty and wrong, using Aslan to guilt Edmund into surrendering his futile attempts of arguing with him, but if it kept Edmund as safe as possible then it couldn't be so dishonorable. Peter smiled lightly at Edmund and placed a hand on his shoulder. Peter went to move past his brother and suit up for battle when Edmund grabbed his hand. Before Peter could turn around to face him, Edmund began to speak._

"_Why can't I fight? Am I so unworthy a person that I can't die in battle for the ones I love and hold dear? How come you can fight and I must be left behind?" Edmund asked._

_Peter would almost be unsure if Edmund was even speaking to him at all had he not grabbed him by the arm. Edmund spoke in such a soft and reserved manner it was as if he was voicing his thoughts out loud to himself, rather than to Peter._

"_Ed…" Peter sighed as he turned around._

_Edmund stood with his back to Peter, unable to move, or unwilling. They had yet to make peace because Peter was still so unsure if he could forgive his brother and come to terms with what he had done. Despite all that, it did not change the simple fact that he wanted Edmund safe, if not for his own sake then for the sake of his family._

"_Peter you don't understand…" Edmund whispered his voice cracking._

_Peter wrapped his arms around his little brother and hugged him delicately from behind. He didn't know what possessed him to do it, but after hearing his brother shatter in front of him he had an overwhelming urge to protect and comfort Edmund. This was the only way he knew how. Peter rested his chin carefully on Edmund's shoulder and whispered in his ear._

"_I know you hate it when I tell you what to do. But I swear I don't do it to make you feel smaller, or to seem like I'm always right. I just want to keep you safe. So if you ever do one thing for me, please listen when I ask you to not fight me on this. I don't want you in the front lines, I want you no where near the battle unless it's absolutely necessary to fall back. Please just this once, if you ever do one thing for me, please listen: stay with the archers where it's safer."_

_At this Edmund finally turned to face his brother. Edmund's face showed no emotion of any kind, he merely nodded and walked away. Peter could only hope that he somehow got through to Edmund, that Edmund understood he only wanted what was best for him. Peter's thoughts were growing more and more uncertain by the second, he was still unsure if he could do this._

"_Edmund…"_ Peter turned and looked up, trying to locate where his brother was up on the cliff. He found Edmund who was looking down staring directly at him as well. He looked on as Edmund nodded his head in reassurance. Peter turned back around, facing the oncoming enemy. Peter finally drew his sword, indicating the challenge to the White Witch.

It had begun.

Edmund watched on as the battle was raging below. How he wished to be a part of it.

"_I know you hate it when I tell you what to do. But I swear I don't do it to make you feel smaller, or to seem like I'm always right."_

"_Peter you just don't understand. I have to fight, I need to fight. I need to help these people who I've hurt and let down. I need to help Lucy, and Susan and you. I need to fight because I can not go on knowing what I have done and not try to make it right. You'll never see that I've changed… you still think I'm some immature little prat who loathes you. I know you're trying to protect me, I don't just think you're trying to make me feel small… but you can't see that. You can't see that I've changed…"_Edmund contemplated.

Edmund continued to watch, waiting for the Witch to make her move. All he could do was wait, wait for her to come forward. Edmund raised his sword above his head, and thrust it toward the battle field before him.

"Fire!" He shouted

One of the many centaur archers cocked and fired an arrow out into the battle. Half way to the battle field it burst into flame and a phoenix emerged. The phoenix tore through the battle field, denying the White Witch access to Peter and the rest of his army by lighting a division line of flame. Edmund couldn't help but smile a little, Peter was safe. But that happy feeling quickly faded as Jadis used her magic to break through their defenses. As the White Witch advanced on them Edmund saw Peter glance up at him quickly before shouting a command to his army.

"Fall back! Draw them to the rocks!"

That was the signal Edmund had been waiting for. He and the rest of the Narnian army turned and ran to aid the rest of their comrades in the ongoing battle below. As Edmund ran to aid his brother all he could think of was now he would have his chance to make it up to him. He would make it up to Narnia and his family. He'd set things right, and then he could be at peace.

"_I did as you asked me Peter. I stayed with the archers, until there was no other choice. I listened and now… now I don't want to be here any longer Peter, I want to set things right and then fade away. When I know I have mended the damage I inflicted on Narnia and our family I want to disappear and become a memory, which is what I deserve."_


	5. from the person you are

**Let Go Brother**

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

The battle was not going well; it was never supposed to go well because they were all fighting on hope. Hope that somehow the fact that they were fighting for what was good and true in this world could allow them to succeed. Hope that despite their small numbers and lesser strength, their sheer will to defeat the White Witch would lead them to victory. But as Peter was beginning to realize that was not the realistic outcome, something told him that somehow Edmund had known all along that they would fall to the White Witch. The way Edmund would look at her with such fear, the way Edmund could never speak her name without struggling with his words. Edmund knew what Jadis could do, and only now in battle was Peter finally able to realize the horrors that she was capable of committing. Without flinching she was able to turn every Narnian soldier into a permanent stone statue, forever frozen in fear of her. Peter had been forced to watch his own general Oreius fall to her, because he was protecting Peter.

"_Are you with me?"_

"_To the death."_

Peter now realized Oreius' sacrifice would be for nothing, they were losing more and more ground and their numbers were dwindling at an enormous rate. Peter looked for Edmund on the battle field. Oreius had died protecting him, and now it was Peter's turn to die protecting what was important to him. Peter ran dodging and deflecting his enemies in search for his brother, who he hoped was alright. Peter's eyes finally managed out Edmund's form fighting in the distance. Edmund slashed an ogre's legs out from beneath it rendering it immobile. Peter could not help but be impressed by his younger brother who fought with such bravery despite being so young. Brave or not, Peter needed Edmund to leave the battle and find Susan and Lucy. Just as Peter was to inform Edmund of his next order he was attacked. Peter couldn't fall yet; first he needed to know Edmund would be safe with their sisters.

"Edmund!" Peter yelled. Edmund turned to see Peter in trouble and was about to go to his aid, but was cut off. "There's too many! Get out of here! Get the girls and get them home!"

"You heard him! Let's go!" Mr. Beaver yelled.

At that Mr. Beaver began tugging at Edmund's arm trying to lead him away as Edmund was about to go help his brother. Mr. Beaver began leading Edmund to higher ground to escape the battle, but he couldn't take his eyes away from Peter fighting alone below. Edmund wanted to keep fighting, even if Peter thought it was useless now. Edmund finally freed himself from Mr. Beaver and turned around desperately trying to locate his brother. Instead of finding Peter he found Jadis, walking directly toward his older brother.

"_I listened Peter; you asked that if I ever did one thing for you it would be to stay with the archers until I had to fight. Well I listened to that one thing you asked of me, now I'm free to choose_," Edmund thought as he pulled his sword from its sheath.

"Peter said 'get out of here'?" Mr. Beaver questioned.

"Peter's not king yet!" Edmund said as he ran forward into battle, toward the White Witch.

Edmund raced past every opponent, keeping his focus directly on Jadis. If she reached Peter, everything would be lost. Edmund no longer cared about his own life, but Peter's life was still very dear to him. Edmund could never live with himself knowing Peter died because of his actions. Edmund continued to run along the rocks until he finally caught up with Jadis and leaped off with his sword in the air, bringing it down swiftly, keeping his eyes in his target: Jadis' wand. Edmund knew he would never be able to take down the White Witch herself, but he had a shot if he could disarm her of her magic. It would give Peter a chance, and that's all that mattered.

The White Witch barely managed to pull it away from the blow of Edmund's sword when she turned around and thrust her wand forward to make Edmund a stone statue forever. Edmund dodged out of the way and brought his sword down upon it, causing it to shatter into shards of what looked like glass and a brilliant blue light emerged.

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

Peter took down enemy after enemy not knowing how much longer he could hold out. He only wanted to hold out long enough for Edmund to get a safe distance away. He was unsure of how long that would take, but knew he would do his best to last in battle for as long as possible. Edmund needed to find Susan and Lucy and return home safely. As Peter continued fighting a beautiful blue glow caught the corner of his eye. As he swung his body around he just managed to watch as his younger brother, whom he had thought was safe, get run through by what was left of the White Witch's wand.

Edmund was supposed to be gone, far away from the battle, somewhere safe. But Peter could not deny what he had just seen.

"Edmund!" Peter screamed.

Edmund fell to the ground with a loud thud as Jadis cast away her now useless wand, which had served its final purpose: killing the son of Adam that had been a thorn in her side for far too long.

Peter ran toward Jadis without hesitation, quickly disposing of any enemy that came near him. His focus was Jadis and that was all he cared about it. Jadis pulled a sword out of a fallen soldier and walked toward Peter, completely unafraid. Peter was full of hate and revenge, which would make him clumsy and Jadis knew this. Peter finally reached her and began swinging his sword wildly, all of which she easily deflected. Jadis easily forced Peter to the ground, mocking him by holding her stance and simply waiting for him to be ready to come at her again. Peter stood and began his attack again, but still without form. Jadis was tiring of this and drove both her swords toward Peter's neck in a scissor like fashion, ready to finish it with a quick slice to the neck. But Peter managed to duck and throw his neck back, just barely managing to keep his head.

Finally Peter began to find his form, remembering the techniques Oreius had shown him only a few days before. Peter deflect blow after blow, parrying with the White Witch until something caught his attention. Peter and the White Witch turned at the sound of the Great Lion roaring out over the entire battlefield.

"Impossible…" Jadis said in awe.

Hope was restored as he witnessed a miracle, hundreds upon thousands of Narnian reinforcements followed behind Aslan, which included Susan and Lucy. Before Peter could even begin to feel relieved the White Witch attacked him with a new vigour. The sight of the Great Lion put a severe fear in Jadis, and she knew the other son of Adam must be disposed of quickly. There was no longer room left for error, and Jadis finally managed to slice Peter's legs out from under him. Instead of allowing Peter time to rise to his feet like before, she pinned him to the ground by stabbing her sword into his arm. Peter let out a cry of pain but the White Witch had no heart for pity. She brought her other sword down upon him which Peter managed to deflect with his shield, but Jadis easily cast his shield away.

As Peter looked up, watching as the White Which swung her sword around and poised it for her finishing blow, he was not thinking of himself. All he could think of was Edmund, and how he would be seeing him again very soon. He had been a fool, all this time hating Edmund for what he had done. Now it was too late, and soon he'd be dead along with Edmund and he would never have a chance to make things right.

Peter bravely looked directly into the eyes of the White Witch. If he was going to die, he wouldn't let her see him die afraid. But suddenly just before she was about to strike he saw her look up in sheer terror, and suddenly she was gone. Peter pulled the White Witch's sword from his arm and quickly stood, with Narnian reinforcements running past him. Peter finally saw what had scared the White Witch so much. She was pinned to the ground with the Great Lion on top of her. Jadis, the White Witch who had ruled for 100 years, was now gone and no longer a threat to Narnia.

Aslan turned and approached Peter, simply saying "It is finished."

Before Peter could thank Aslan for saving his life, he heard his name being shouted in the distance. Peter turned around and saw Susan and Lucy racing toward him. Peter opened his arms to Lucy who ran into wrapping her arms around his waist in a hug. But Susan didn't embrace him; she had a concerned look on her face.

"Where's Edmund?" Susan asked, afraid of what the answer may be.

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

It was silent, and disturbingly still for a battlefield.

_"The battle must be over..."_ Edmund thought to himself as he lay dying on the now empty battlefield. _"I hope Peter's okay... If I have to die, I want to die knowing he's alright, and that Narnia is safe." _

Edmund heard his name being called but he couldn't tell from who or what direction it had come from. All he was focused on was gasping for air and trying to ignore the pain in his abdomen. Suddenly he felt freer as his helmet was removed, and he also felt warmer as something hit his lips. Edmund felt the warmth surge up throughout his whole body. He was suddenly able to breathe more freely.

_"Peter..."_ Edmund finally opened his eyes and saw what he had been hoping for. _"Peter's safe... and Susan and Lucy."_

As Edmund looked upon Peter he felt something he hadn't felt in a long time: hope. Peter's eyes were red with worry, and tears that were just managing to be held back. Edmund had never seen Peter like this before, so full of anxiety and fear. It gave Edmund hope, hope that perhaps Peter had now finally forgiven him.

Peter pulled Edmund from the ground into a fierce hug, holding and squeezing his little brother close to his chest. Peter buried his face into the crook of Edmund's neck and finally let his tears fall. It was the first time in a long time that Edmund let anyone hug him, and he did so willingly. Edmund closed his eyes, taking in what he thought he wouldn't live to experience. Edmund dared to hope that this meant Peter had indeed forgiven him.

Peter finally pulled away and looked at Edmund. Edmund suddenly became afraid that it was just a moment of weakness for Peter, and that any minute Peter would simply get up and walk away and that would be the end of it. But then Peter smiled.

"When are you gonna learn to do as you're told?" Peter managed to choke out between tears.

For the first time, since his father had gone off to war, Edmund gave a true sincere smile. In that simple sentence he knew Peter had forgiven him. Edmund felt his sisters hug him from behind and Peter enveloped them all in a hug, and Edmund felt more at peace than he had in ages.

Edmund looked up and saw Aslan, the Great Lion back from the dead, before him. Edmund knew he would never be able to repay Aslan for what he had done for him, but he also knew that the lion never expected anything in return. As long as Edmund learned from what he had done and repented, that was enough.


	6. let go brother, let go

**Let Go Brother**

Again, sorry for how long it takes me to get chapters out. This may appear to be the last chapter, but it isn't. There will be an epilogue of sorts to follow. I've also decided to go ahead with a sequel to **Let Go Brother**, but it will be a tad different. It will be a **Prince Caspian** fic, and it will focus more on Edmund as a character, and his relationships with Lucy and Peter. So I hope everyone enjoys the conclusion to my fic, and there should be an epilogue up shortly after. Reviews are love, even critical ones!

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For one moment Edmund finally allowed himself to feel something he never thought he would have the chance to feel again: freedom. For the first time in ages he felt like he could breathe freely once again. The weight of his mistakes were no longer straining his shoulders, about to snap him in two. Aslan had defeated the White Witch and now Narnia was free, with the Pevensies to rule over it. Edmund had accomplished what he set out to do, help save Narnia. Edmund had been crowned King Edmund the Just, he was not to be High King of Narnia. That title was reserved for Peter, and he could not have been more proud of his brother.

"_Peter deserves the title of High King, and of King Peter the Magnificent. Peter would never have made such a mess of things as I did."_ Edmund thought to himself.

Edmund had taken the opportunity to sneak away from the festivities of the coronation. After he and his siblings had been crowned as kings and queens of Narnia celebrations ensued, and although Edmund was happy, he was not in the mood for rejoicing. So while his other siblings were dancing about the great hall in their new home of Cair Paravel, Edmund was leaning against one of the balconies, holding his crown in his hands. Edmund began to fiddle with it, running his fingers along the silver pointed edges.

"_So beautiful... but do I deserve it?"_ Edmund wondered.

"You know Edmund that is supposed to go on your head," said a voice from behind him.

Edmund recognized the voice; he'd never forget the sound of Peter's voice. Edmund turned toward it and saw Peter staring back at him with a small smile upon his lips and he smiled thoughtfully back at him. They had barely spoken since the battle so it was comforting to have Peter near him. In truth Edmund had been avoiding Peter, because despite things turning out alright, it was Aslan's doing, not his.

"_I made a right awful mess of things... if it weren't for Aslan... Every time I look into Peter's eyes I feel ashamed. Being near him is tearing me apart, I feel safer when he's near but I can't shake this feeling of guilt. Every time I look into his eyes I'm suddenly reminded of everything I've done and this wave of confusion and guilt wash over me and I feel as if I'm drowning..."_ Edmund thought.

Peter watched as Edmund's smile faded and his expression grew solemn. Edmund shifted his gaze toward the ground and slowly yet unsteadily turned back toward the balcony. Edmund hoped that was enough to satisfy Peter, and he continued his focus on the crown in his hands. He felt Peter move against his back and watched as he wrapped his arms around him, and took the crown from his hands. Edmund turned to Peter and made an attempt to reach out for it, but Peter held him back.

"It's a weird feeling isn't it? Wearing a crown... but you deserve it Ed, much more than I do," Peter said.

Before Edmund could object Peter moved closer to his brother and carefully placed the silver crown back where it belonged. Edmund tensed as the crown was placed back on top of his head.

"You can't honestly mean that?" Edmund asked.

Peter sighed heavily, and moved beside Edmund. Peter leaned against the railing and looked out, focusing on the sea. Edmund watched Peter from the corner of his eye, waiting. He could not read his brother, Peter looked eerily calm, yet his words stated otherwise. If there was anything Edmund had faith in, that he truly believed in, it was Peter. Yes he had come to have faith in Aslan, after witnessing his compassion and forgiveness, but Aslan was not Peter, and could never replace Peter or that of the place Edmund had for Peter in his heart. Edmund therefore could not understand why Peter would not have faith in himself, he had done nothing wrong.

"I let you down... I wasn't there when I should have been," Peter said.

"Peter, it was me who didn't listen. You told me to leave the battle; it was my own fault I got hurt. It was _my_ decision to make. You were fighting on the battlefield, how could you have possibly known that I defied your direct orders to take on the White Witch myself? Like you said: I'm never going to learn to do as I'm told," Edmund retorted.

"No Ed... I mean in Finchley. I wasn't the big brother I should have been. You obviously needed me and I wasn't there. That's why you went to the White Witch... that's why all of this happened," Peter explained.

"Pete give me a little more credit than that... I can think for myself, I am independent of you. It was my decision to stay with the White Witch for as long as I did, and I'm mature enough to admit that. I'm taking responsibility for what I've done. Won't you at least give me that?" Edmund said.

Peter finally turned to face Edmund, and he was smiling. Relief washed over Edmund, Peter was finally beginning to understand, and to forgive. Peter placed his hand on Edmund's shoulder and gripped him tightly, but his emotion overtook him and his arm snaked around Edmund's neck pulling him into a fierce hug.

"I'm so sorry Ed..." Peter whispered into his ear.

"I- I'm sorry Pete..." Edmund choked out into his brother's chest.

Edmund pressed his face against the soft velvet material and began to sob against Peter's chest. He clung to his brother, gripping him tightly. Never before would Edmund have done this, particularly with the possibility of people witnessing it, but he no longer cared. It was over, it was finally over. Even though Edmund's repentance occurred long before this conversation, and he felt at ease before this conversation, he now knew that everything that had happened between Peter and himself was now over. Edmund and Peter had finally freed each other, and all that was left was to learn from their mutual mistakes and rule over Narnia together. The words of Aslan finally rung true: _What's done is done. There is no need to speak to Edmund of what is past. _In their futures together as kings of Narnia the issue would never come up again, except in the rare instances when Edmund himself would bring it up, only then to speak of Aslan's gracious nature or that all traitors have the ability to repent.

"Peter! Peter!" a voice called.

The brother's parted and quickly pulled themselves back together. Before Peter could fully recover and straighten himself out Lucy was hugging his waist. Peter instinctively put his arms around her in instant protection. Edmund placed his hand on Lucy's shoulder and turned her around gently, she was not crying but there was sadness etched across her face.

"What is it Lu?" Peter asked as he bent to one knee in order to eye level with his little sister.

"It's Aslan... he's left..." Lucy explained.

"Are you sure?" Edmund asked.

Lucy simply nodded in reply as she threw her tiny arms around Peter's neck. Peter wrapped his arms tightly around her because he knew not what to say to comfort her. Lucy was the most steadfast believer in Aslan, and his absence created a hole in her heart.

"You know Lu... just because Aslan isn't here with us physically does not mean he gone." Edmund said slowly.

Lucy pulled away from Peter and looked up at Edmund with hope in her eyes. Peter took Lucy's hands in her and stood back up, knowing what Edmund was getting at.

"You see Lu, Edmund means that as long as you believe in Aslan, and have love for him, he will never truly be gone," Peter continued.

Edmund smiled at Peter, both brothers understood why Aslan left. It was now the Pevensie's time to rule over Narnia, and Aslan had faith in them that they would not constantly need him to be there. Aslan was somewhere watching over them, and his presence was always felt, but it was _their_ time now.

"Exactly, and he would not want you to be sad. If you believe, you will see him again. Until then, we must all do our very best to rule over Narnia and serve our people," Edmund said.

"Edmund, when did you get so serious?" Lucy asked smiling brightly.

"When you weren't looking!" Edmund chuckled and removed her crown ruffling her hair

"Edmund!" Lucy shrieked.

Edmund held her crown in the air, forcing Lucy to jump in an attempt to reach it. A month ago Edmund would have been doing such a thing out of spite, with Lucy's favourite stuffed bear, threatening to never give it back. Now though, things simply felt different. Peter watched on laughing, Lucy was giggling, Edmund was smiling, and Susan came and snatched the crown back when Edmund wasn't looking. As Edmund stuck out his tongue at Susan, she placed the crown back on Lucy's head. It was all in good fun. The Pevensie's had come so far together in such a short period of time. Lucy took Edmund's hand and led him out to the dance floor, forcing him to quite awkwardly dance with her, but he did so gladly.

As Edmund twirled Lucy about the dance floor, causing her to giggle in sheer happiness, he noticed Peter watching him from the balcony. Edmund smiled and nodded at Peter, his brother was going to be a great king, magnificent in fact. Now Edmund was finally able to let go.


	7. cause now we all know

I am so incredibly sorry for the inexcusable delay. I have no idea if I even have a readership left with this story. If there are any loyal readers left (wouldn't blame anyone if there wasn't), this Epilogue is for you.

I really didn't like the final 'official' chapter that I did. It felt too out of place with the story, but I wanted to leave you guys feeling like Edmund and Peter were okay with everything that had happened. It just didn't turn out as I would have liked. So this Epilogue in my opinion, is needed. I am hoping to start the sequel soon.

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**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

"You better think carefully about whose side you're on Edmund…" _No no nonono... _"Mine, or theirs."

"You have a traitor in your midst…"

_Please…_

"Then you are of no further use to me."

_Please stop…_

"THAT boy will DIE on the Stone Table!"

_STOP!_

Edmund's eyes fluttered open suddenly; he had the dream again. Edmund sat up in his bed, shirking off the sweat soaked sheets but felt no comfort, his nightclothes clung to his sweat covered skin anyway. It had been fifteen years since Jadis the White Witch had been defeated by the Great Lion. Fifteen years since Edmund betrayed his family for her. But only 1 year since they had returned from Narnia. Edmund ran his fingers through his hair and sighed in exasperation. He was getting bad again. A stressor often triggered the nightmares: this week was the first snowfall of the year in Finchley.

"You've been a grown man, and now you're a teenager, and yet you still suffer from nightmares…"

Edmund had come to accept long ago that he couldn't help now what he had done and who he had been, but that he could control where he would go from there. He had been crowned King Edmund the Just, and since that day he had dedicated his life to earning that title. Despite being just a boy at the time, he had become a diplomat and was known for giving good council. He tried to maintain those same roles and qualities now that he was back in England.

But he still had the nightmares.

They had become less frequent over the years. They were nearly every day for the first year, until they began to dissipate over time. Edmund had actually hoped that he had finally conquered Jadis, as he hadn't dreamt of her since his return, but even in death she could still affect him. Perhaps this was his punishment for what he had done. He had earned his siblings forgiveness, as well as that of his Narnian subjects and friends who he cared for so dearly. These nightmares then must be a way of reminding him of past sins, so that he would never forget. That must be why he saw her every night for the past week. He was definitely getting bad again.

Edmund was taken from his introspection by a voice to his left.

"Edmund…?" It was Peter, of course.

Edmund quickly looked over to Peter's bed to verify what he already knew. Peter peered up at him from his own bed with a furrowed brow.

"I heard screaming. It's happening again isn't it? You're getting bad again." Peter stated.

There it was. Even Peter knew Edmund was seeing Jadis again. Edmund simply nodded his head, and shifted his body awkwardly. He hadn't meant to wake Peter, and he was embarrassed that he had actually screamed out in his sleep. Peter sat up in his own bed, swinging his legs off the side so he could face his younger brother. Edmund looked over at Peter, expecting to meet his eyes, but instead he noticed that Peter was focused on his bed.

"Oh Ed…"

The sheets were in complete disarray from what Ed could only assume was his thrashing about in bed. Where his body had been on the mattress was now completely doused in sweat. He was surprised that Peter could notice, because the only light in the room was from the moon light pouring in through the window.

"It's okay, really Peter. They aren't even that bad anymore, I swear. Last nights nightmare only lasted for what felt like a few moments and-"

At this Peter whirled around to face him, "Last night? This wasn't the first…? Edmund how long has this been going on again?"

"…A week." Edmund admitted.

He knew Peter would be upset that Edmund had kept this from him. He just didn't want him to worry.

Peter sighed and stood up, making his way over to Edmund's bed to sit beside his brother. Edmund instinctively pulled his knees up to his chest and hugging them there.

"Ed I thought we were past this. Why do you still feel the need to do this alone? You haven't seen Jadis in over a year, and she's back in your nightmares suddenly. Why didn't you come to me straight away?" Peter asked looking at him with a pained expression.

Edmund shifted his gaze to his knees, ashamed of causing his brother pain. That was not his intent.

"Please don't make me feel worse than I already do Pete." Edmund stated simply.

"I thought you had let go of all this…" Peter said softly.

Edmund reached out and placed his hand on his brother's shoulder. Peter's eyes were glistening from either tears or the moonlight, Edmund couldn't tell.

"Pete I have, I promise you that I have. You and I are fine. You've forgiven me for my betrayal and I've forgiven myself as well. I've taken responsibility for what I've done, and I've been making amends ever since. That doesn't mean that I won't think of her from time to time, or continue to try and better myself from past sins." Edmund explained.

Peter nodded, apparently accepting what his brother told him. But it was Peter who hadn't let go. Peter still took responsibility for him, for the path he had taken all those years ago.

That was when Edmund noticed the shift.

"_It's my turn now…to look out for you now Peter."_

Peter hadn't been quite the same since they'd come home six months ago. He was more self conscious and wasn't able to adjust to being a teenager again. Peter was fragile, and it was Edmund's responsibility to protect him now.

Edmund moved his hand from Peter's shoulder and grasped his brother's hand instead. This caused Peter to finally look at Edmund.

"Don't worry Pete, I've got it sorted." Edmund said, while trying to give Peter a reassuring smile.

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Please review or private message me if you enjoyed it or not! Let me know your thoughts! And thanks again to anyone has stuck with this story, I appreciate you guys so so much.


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